I stepped into the cathedral, through its wall with all of its collected faces and all of its collected years and all of its collected height. (I thought I was a mouse or Thumbelina.) Tiny shoulders tied up in an oppressive, dull sort of pain, feet had walked too far, round eyes heavy, ebony-black jacket, snow-white stockings, faded gold shoes all soaked through with grey rain, cold... and, suddenly, the sound of a pale blue light.
The pale blue light was very gentle as it led me into the chapel, and yet I would not have been able to run away from it if there had been any will left in my feet. Soon the evensong grew louder and filled the cathedral with pale blue stars, pale blue stars which only I seemed able to see. (My own secret stars.) It was a sort of warm coldness which makes you forget coldness,--what to compare it to? Winter fireflies. A nighttime snowfall when, somehow, moonlight-dust has brought the snowflakes back to life and you stand there alone in the middle of all of it. (It wasn't quite the moon, though.) Being Home with my real family and sitting up late while my Brothers and Sisters and Mama and Papa sleep, finally feeling content. An un-lonely sort of loneliness, completely awake. I hoped it would go on forever, just the stars and my wishes and me, in that cathedral.
Both pictures are of Wells Cathedral in Wells, Somerset, England; neither of them belong to me.
Nice photos and enjoyed your writing. Feeling of contentment is hard to find, so I'm glad you told us about it. I loved "unlonely sort of loneliness".
ReplyDeletegasp! I'm speechless. Everything is beautiful, and amazing. My dear, I love you. :)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Just like your soul, I feel. I can't thank you enough for your consistently kind words, I'm never sure the merit of my own is enough to receive the generous praise you give me but I appreciate it so much. I hope you're well, my love. xxx
ReplyDeleteOh, this is a lovely piece, absolutely radiant. I love the blue stars - such a wonderful thought.
ReplyDeleteCathedrals are so beautiful. I was in one for a wedding the other week and I was tempted to become a Catholic. :)
Thank you all so much for your kind words. <3
ReplyDeleteShopgirl: Yes, I've realised recently that, though a person can choose to be happy, it seems that contentment is comes a bit less easily.
haze: I love you, too, dear haze. <3
Norah: No, your beautiful writing most certainly does deserve praise!
Melee: Aren't they? Outside of England, most of the beautiful churches I've been to were Catholic, so I understand the feeling. (Actually, though, Wells Cathedral is Protestant, but it was originally Catholic.)
Beautiful pictures, darling. And such overwhelming words from a blessed soul.
ReplyDeleteGlad I found you here. Stay well.
Sends tender hugs,
Lili xxx
Thank you so much. <3
ReplyDeleteThis story gives me a warm feeling in my center. I love the contrasts here---warm coldness, un-lonely sort of loneliness... so well done.
ReplyDeleteYou write with delicacy and honesty... two traits that don't always go together but go together so well in your writing.
Darling, I tagged you in my post. :)
ReplyDeleteJade: Thank you very much!
ReplyDeletehaze: I'll take a look~