Showing posts with label music. Show all posts
Showing posts with label music. Show all posts

Monday, February 20, 2012

Dear:

I wrote transparent love letters to you again this Valentine's Day and thought, has it really been a year? and wished I could become transparent, too, or at least that my skin could be transparent, so everyone could see not just the obvious things like my heart and mind but all the songs trying to spill from my throat and the shoulders which seem to have sunken in from weight and how much stronger I've become--and then perhaps you would remember everything--but if I did that, the scary people would see inside of me, too, wouldn't they? so I don't become transparent.

I've smiled and made colourful sweets for my friends (which were late), I sang a song (which was also late), and now I'm writing late, and I haven't been keeping up with my friends' blogs... I'm really sorry! I'll definitely do it soon!!

I forgot to take pictures of the sweets I made, but I thought I'd post some pretty pictures I found here










I really love cute sweets... ^^

Monday, October 31, 2011

If my voice can reach you, then...


I'd forgotten that I could sing. It was what I've always done, too--I've wanted to sing. Before I drew, before I told stories, before I made dresses or cakes or danced, maybe even before I was a Lost Girl, I've wanted to sing. I've all but forgotten that wish.

Before I could do anything else, I'd wanted to become a musician. The grown-ups always told me the same things; 'It's hard to become a singer.' 'Singing isn't a respectable profession.' I still wanted to sing, but I learnt to do different, more respectable things. Soon, though, the "Roman thoughts" flooded my mind. Build. Run forward. Never ever waste time. Now I only sing to myself when I draw or tell stories, or when I cook or make dresses or walk. 

None of those things are quite enough, though. 'To live' is the only thing that's enough; I know that. But--if I just live, I can never reach you, can I? If you couldn't see anything at all, the drawings, the words on the paper, the frilled skirts--they would mean almost nothing. If you could see anything at all, the drawings, the words on the paper, the frilled skirts--there would be too much which they simply  could not tell you. If I could sing a song to reach you, then...

I won't abandon everything to sing, but it seems that I still love singing best.

I just hope that you can still hear this little, childish voice.

--

Firstly, I'm sorry that I haven't been commenting or posting lately; I'd thought before that I finally had time to keep up with my blog...

Also, this isn't only a piece of writing, but a sort of announcement: I've started a YouTube channel for dancing, voice acting, and, of course, singing. (A few years ago, I used to do a lot of singing and voice acting on YouTube.) I haven't posted anything yet, though, because I just bought a new microphone yesterday (my old one was broken), and my throat just began to heal today (I lost my voice for the past few days and still need to rest a bit). I am so excited to begin singing again, though; music comes closest to expressing all of my thoughts--all of my feelings. (I also absolutely love voice acting, albeit not as much as singing.) Also, the channel is very... pink

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Lost Story No. 21: The Ghost Story of Marienne; or, The Secret Halloween Party at Midnight; Part I







I woke at midnight to celebrate a secret Halloween. Rolled up striped stockings, slipped into my nicest black dress with lots of panniers underneath, fastened my prettiest shoes I never wear, tied my hair in ribbons, imagined I had a pretty little black hat. I couldn't leave the house for fear of waking up the Lady and her Husband, so I went to Wonderland.

Bruder and Schwester were waiting there, in an odd village I'd never seen but called Home anyway. They had changed; they were the Bruder and Schwester from that time before, when they were a good deal younger and I was a little bit older, when it was only the three of us in that tree-shielded house, when we'd forgotten who we were again. They had dressed for the occasion, too. Hand in hand, we walked through the jack-o'-lantern lit village and into the Forest.

In the Forest, we met a story-teller. His stories were short and never seemed to have an ending; he told us several stories of girls who wandered in the woods at night and one story of a marionette who fell in love with a certain piper. As he began a longer story about a dead bride who fell in love with a living bridegroom, a crow picked him up in its beak and carried him away.

We walked deeper into the Forest where time stopped at midnight to the House of Sweets where time stopped on Halloween, stepping through the shortbread door to the some-hundred-year-old Halloween party. Spiced black tea and German biscuits and marshmallows and fine china made of sugar candy and a pumpkin pie (which, sadly, I had made with tinned pumpkin, as it was really July outside of the Forest) were set out on a Baumkuchen table surrounded by guests without faces. After tea, I carved a face into a red apple. The Hostess's sweet voice cut through the silent chatter, announcing that the dances would begin.

Bruder took my hand and asked me to dance with him. (I could reach his shoulder rather easily then, he didn't even need to bend down a bit.) The songs played from nowhere; some were blackberry jam, some were chocolates, some were crystallised ginger, some were treacle, all were waltzes. I danced blindfolded. Though I could remember the box step, my feet had forgotten it (as they hadn't waltzed in so long) and soon changed to the waltz I had learnt first, down-up-up, down-up-up, but they were still too slow to match the song's rhythm. Bruder smiled patiently. Finally, a slower waltz played; it didn't taste of sweets, only a starless night sky. Though it was such a death-like song, my feet were livelier than ever. Turning, then spinning, I fell into a dizzy sleep, but my feet danced faster and faster.

When the dance ended, the blindfold disappeared; though my eyes had opened, the room faded away (as did my feeling and my balance), and I heard myself land on the floor as though I had been standing beside myself. The room reappeared quickly, and I found the hostess standing over me, staring as though she were planning something. In that moment, I saw that the hostess was none other than Marienne (the girl Hans had been searching so sadly for). Upon hearing his name, her expression softened; 'Let's go Home together,' Bruder said. Before leaving, I contemplated whether or not I would eat the apple I'd carved (which I then realised was poisoned). I set it on the ground instead, and we walked together, Bruder, Schwester, Marienne, and I, away from the endless party in the endless night with its faceless guests.

I bathed in pumpkin and cinnamon and milk and honey and soap bubbles once Home. As we said our 'good night's, I leaned against Schwester's shoulder, which, naturally, surprised her. 'Just for now, please--?' Silently, she smiled a bit. I slept beside Bruder just as I had in that time when I always cried. 'Bruder?' I looked into his eyes, wider then than they are now (but just as gentle). 'You're going to disappear when morning comes, aren't you?' I could no longer look into his face. 'I don't want for you to disappear.' He smiled a little sadly and squeezed my hand. (I didn't see him smile a little sadly, but he always smiles a little sadly at me, especially when I cry.) I fell into a quiet sleep.

I woke to daylight and aloneness (as expected). Somehow, though, I'd felt as though nothing had been resolved, and, just as I'd thought that, I realised that I was still in Wonderland, still in that house I'd probably seen before and called Home.

Although I normally post photos and old-fashioned styled artwork, these images suit the story best; in order of first appearance, they are from: the animated music video for the song 'Mrs. Pumpkin's Comical Dream'; the opening video to the video game 'Zettai Meikyuu Grimm' (or 'Labyrinth of Grimm'); and the opening video to the animated adaptation of 'Umineko no Naku Koro ni' (or 'When the Seagulls Cry'). Also, please do excuse any technical difficulties; I tried to use a cut so that the post would not appear so lengthy on the main page, but it doesn't seem to be working, and now I can't delete it.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Jet










Look, hey, I can see tomorrow.

--

She would set sail for the country of Ink-on-Paper and the Island of Green in the morning in search of lost swans and torn-out pages (and perhaps a pretty dress).

I am leaving for England and Ireland tomorrow; I'll be back in about two weeks.

Friday, April 15, 2011

All My Love












I want to wrap you up with infinite love, a strong heart, and deep kindness...
All my love, you're my love!

(Postscript: Isn't she adorable? She's like an innocent girl who never grew up.)