I'd forgotten that I could sing. It was what I've always done, too--I've wanted to sing. Before I drew, before I told stories, before I made dresses or cakes or danced, maybe even before I was a Lost Girl, I've wanted to sing. I've all but forgotten that wish.
Before I could do anything else, I'd wanted to become a musician. The grown-ups always told me the same things; 'It's hard to become a singer.' 'Singing isn't a respectable profession.' I still wanted to sing, but I learnt to do different, more respectable things. Soon, though, the "Roman thoughts" flooded my mind. Build. Run forward. Never ever waste time. Now I only sing to myself when I draw or tell stories, or when I cook or make dresses or walk.
None of those things are quite enough, though. 'To live' is the only thing that's enough; I know that. But--if I just live, I can never reach you, can I? If you couldn't see anything at all, the drawings, the words on the paper, the frilled skirts--they would mean almost nothing. If you could see anything at all, the drawings, the words on the paper, the frilled skirts--there would be too much which they simply could not tell you. If I could sing a song to reach you, then...
I won't abandon everything to sing, but it seems that I still love singing best.
I just hope that you can still hear this little, childish voice.
--
Firstly, I'm sorry that I haven't been commenting or posting lately; I'd thought before that I finally had time to keep up with my blog...
Also, this isn't only a piece of writing, but a sort of announcement: I've started a YouTube channel for dancing, voice acting, and, of course, singing. (A few years ago, I used to do a lot of singing and voice acting on YouTube.) I haven't posted anything yet, though, because I just bought a new microphone yesterday (my old one was broken), and my throat just began to heal today (I lost my voice for the past few days and still need to rest a bit). I am so excited to begin singing again, though; music comes closest to expressing all of my thoughts--all of my feelings. (I also absolutely love voice acting, albeit not as much as singing.) Also, the channel is very... pink.
Oh, I love this! Singing has always been one of my favourite ways of expressing myself too. I almost always have a song on my lips. (I wanted to be a musician before I discovered my passions for writing. I'd still like to be a musician, but it's a more terrifying thought...)
ReplyDeleteYour YouTube channel sounds like such a marvelous idea! I hope we get to see it. :)
Thank you! I can't seem to go a moment without thinking of a song--if it's possible, I like music a bit too much. I don't think I'll become a professional musician, but I certainly won't push singing aside anymore like I have.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any videos up, but the pale green link in my post is my YouTube channel.
Oh, this is beautiful. If singing is what you love and what you want to do, then I fully support your decision to embrace it. You are not the first person around me lately who has had a creative awakening. There must be something in the air...
ReplyDeleteLumina, these words are so songlike... I could hear a sweet voice as I read them... And I'd love to visit your youtube channel. :) It is lovely to do things we enjoy just because.
ReplyDeleteThank you both so much for your kind words! <3
ReplyDeleteYou have all my support for your dream to be fulfilled. I'm sure your voice is beautiful, and I can't wait to hear you on YouTube.
ReplyDeleteStay well !
(p.s. i'm thinking of doing the same thing on youtube, too. but instead of singing, i would be playing piano pieces. but i'm not sure yet, i'm very shy for those things. maybe i should be more like you.)
Lilli: I'd love to hear you play the piano! It's alright that you're shy; I used to be extremely shy (and still am a little bit), but I've eventually changed (...to the point where I'm probably a bit *too* self-confident most of the time, haha).
ReplyDelete