Illustrations by John Tenniel.
Yesterday I sang a song for you (you weren’t there so you couldn’t hear it, but I pretended you could). I sang completely honestly and said what I meant instead of I meant what I said and said it as loudly and beautifully as I could. (Of course, everyone else sang a song, so only I knew I meant it.) By the end of the song I nearly couldn’t breathe; my arms and legs and chest shook for thirty minutes afterward; my friend said I’d looked like I was going to faint; when I finally returned to my room (which is almost, almost like Home), I could only sleep.
No matter how much I sing, no matter how loudly or beautifully or honestly, you will never know these feelings; I’ve promised myself. I’ve stitched my mouth closed with white thread (so no-one will see it); I won’t tell you no matter how much I want to because chase two hares and catch neither. Even then, to see you with some-one else… Not with me is fine, but then, but then… what should I do? If I wish three thousand times seven thousand times for both hares, nothing will change. Good-bye, then, Hare.
I’ve thought that I am a White Rabbit now, but I suppose I will always be Alice, always chasing after something.
Lumina darling, you blew me away with your beautiful words.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, dear. <3
ReplyDeleteI love this post for so many reasons... Alice's Adventure's in Wonderland is one of my favourite books (and I recently was the White Rabbit in a play version). Also, this is beautifully written. I sing songs for people when they aren't present too.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Alice is one of my favourites, too; I loved it as soon as I read it, but I love it more as time goes by.
ReplyDeleteOh, these drawings are wonderful! x
ReplyDeleteAren't they? I really love John Tenniel's style! A lot of my own artwork is inspired by it.
ReplyDelete